I don't have money for a therapy how do I deal with this?

Ok i dont want to make you angry but Stop being a victim and start being a survivor. the things that were done to you in your past were done in your past dont let them continue to haunt you in your present or you give them that power over you all over again. I am saying this from personal experience. If you really want counceling and cant afford it go to your local Community Services Board (NOT SOCIAL SERVICES)and they will charge you according to your income. Have you ever thought that you and your sister struggle from the same emotional problems because you may have the same genetic psychological illness? Go and get yourself checked out it may be as simple as a chemical imbalance that can be fixed with medication.